4.5.09

I’m just about to wrap up my Sunday morning of seclusion, following a phenomenal last day at Durban. I’ve grown to love this morning, because I’ve found that when I approach the throne of God, he’s so faithful in showing me something, in giving me something, even if all it is, is rest. I’ve been watching my “The I Heart Revolution” Hillsong United DVD, and I’m beginning to see this incredible need that God is instilling in me. I’ve always approached the idea that if I can do something that will witness to one person, and make a difference in that one person’s life, than what I’m doing is important. I’m watching this clip from the DVD that’s all about the multitude of sick, unemployed, uneducated people in sub-Saharan Africa. The idea of the clip is simple, there’s 1 billion children in the world, of 2.2 billion, who live under the poverty line. Yet, if we can make a difference in 1 life of those 1 billion, or 2.2 billion for that matter, then we are living the gospel. Then we are making a difference. Then we are living a purpose-filled life. If we do this, that’s when we are taking up our cross and following.
It’s hard having one month left here. One week flies by in the blink of an eye, so four blinks from now I’ll be home in America. It sucks. Yes, I want to see my family. Yes, I want to see my friends. Yes, I want to go back to my church, and be back in my home. But I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave the 33 others who have become my family over the past 3 months. I don’t want to leave this country that is so in need, but I have to. The thing that’s hitting me, is that there is so much that needs to be done here and now in South Africa, and I would consider myself blessed beyond measure to be called from God to live in a place like this, and to pour myself out into the lives of those around me. But that’s not the only place that needs ministry. I find it funny when people say they are called into full-time ministry, because if we are part of the body of Christ, we are all full-time ministers already. I look at myself as a missionary here. I look at myself as a missionary in Nicaragua, but who wants to be a missionary in Wilsonville, or Azusa, or wherever you may be in America? I’ve found that I am missing the point. I see the need, but I don’t live like I see it. Yes, Americans are filthy rich in comparison the remainder of the world. Even the “poor” in America have far more than most where I am right now. Minimum wage here is 8 rand an hour, which is 80 cents an hour. Yet, there is spiritual poverty that is everywhere in America. We Americans are missing something that the remainder of the world understands, and I just can’t seem to put my finger on it.
I was talking to Reg the other day. Reg is essentially our Dad/boss/president here, we call him the closest thing on earth to Jesus. Anyway, we were talking about what it takes to receive salvation. We completely affirmed my belief that it takes so much more than a simple statement of “I believe” to receive salvation. Our church has fallen prey to this “easy” Christian life. Where in the Bible does Jesus ever say this life should be easy? This is where I’m torn. I feel so called to go across the globe and meet the needs of those less fortunate than me. However, at the same time, I see such a need to fight at bringing Christianity back to what it should be. We’re told in Romans that if we confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts, we will be saved. Since when is it acceptable to say something that we don’t support with our life? And if we believe something in our hearts, shouldn’t every action we do support that? There is this crazy necessity to actually be the gospel in this world. I know I’ve been aware of this for sometime, but I feel as if it’s finally making sense to me. It’s a lot of confusion, a lot of fighting with myself, and a lot of prayer, but I guess it only means that God is working.